The Big Unknown

I have to believe that one of the single most frustrating things parents deal with is when something is wrong with your child, but you don't know what it is. This is especially difficult when dealing with babies or children that cannot verbalize or communicate what is bothering them. Is it teething? A headache? Do they need to poop?

Now imagine adding a laundry list of medical issues to that child and think of all the places your mind could go. Is it a new type of seizure? A reaction to one of the 15 different medications they're on? Which one? A kidney stone moving? Is the feeding tube irritating their stomach? Do their vent settings need to be changed? It's almost a constant battle in your mind of....is this serious enough to call the doctor about? Which doctor of the 20 he sees should I call? Should I take another trip to the ER, because we know the clinic isn't an option when you have a child so complicated that most pediatricians have no clue what to do with you. 

This has been the ever present voice in the back of my head over the last few weeks. That gut feeling, that all special needs parents get, when they know something just isn't right. Spending hours on the internet looking at test results, ultrasounds and CT scan notes. Trying to find a clue, ANY CLUE, that will lead you on a path to something. Something tangible to present to your doctor so they don't think you're just another crazy mom full of hypochondriac ideas. 

So tonight I will be doing more research on the internet and combing through test results, hoping to find something a doctor has missed. Because that's what moms do when they're trying to help their child feel better. And to all the moms on the internet tonight doing the same thing...I see you and I'm with you in spirit.