Miracles

Change can come in many different ways.  Sometimes it presents in an obvious fashion and sometimes it's much more subtle.  If I'm being completely honest with myself and everyone else...then I will admit that I really hoped Jameson would be sitting up this Christmas to open his presents.

When Christmas 2013 hit, he was still so fragile and it wasn't expected. But deep in my mind I thought "well next Christmas he will be holding his head up and sitting for sure!"  February rolled around, I was adamant he would do it. Summer came, we doubled his physical therapy during the week...."he's going to get stronger, one of these days it will just happen!"  By the time the leaves were falling, I knew I'd gotten my hopes up. I could pray and hope for it all I wanted, but in the end, it was up to him and what his body was ready for.

And then something really awesome started to happen around Christmas....Jameson started to giggle. Not just giggle, but communicate with his wide grin and soft gentle voice. I know this is usually something that babies do in the first few months of life, but for us it was a Christmas miracle. To be able to look into your child's eyes after a year and a half of every test and doctors appointment imaginable, and have him smile at you like he knows you love him is indescribable. It's almost like God was listening to my prayers for the last year...but instead of giving me what I thought I wanted, he gave me what he knew I needed.  I can dream all day about Jameson sitting and walking someday, doing all the things that typical kids can do. But what I really needed in my heart and in my soul, was to feel his love and acceptance. To feel like he knows that everything I do and every test and surgery that I put him through is because I love him more than anything in the world.

It was truly a Christmas miracle. :)

It's the holiday season...

Happy holiday season everyone! I hope the nice weather is making you all as happy as me. I took a long lunch from work today to accompany little man to one of his therapy appointments, and was very pleased for the cloudy day as little man was able to fully enjoy riding around in his stroller with no sun shade. It's the little things in life that make you thankful. :)

Also very happy to report that there's no big news from us since our last few posts. We are scheduled for surgery on January 8th for Jameson to have his bladder reconstruction. Dr Cooper, his urologist, is very confident that he will make it through in no time and with no complications! He is one tough cookie! But other than that, little man has been staying healthy and happy. We started his new seizure medication, keppra, almost 2 weeks ago. It took him a little time to adjust, but he seems to finally be feeling back to his old self.

I'm not sure if I'll post again before Christmas since little man has been doing so well. So until we meet again, have a safe and wonderful holiday season! :)

Thankful

It can be really easy to get into a dark place when you're feeling like the odds are stacked against you. The obvious question, "why me?" can slip into the deep dark crevices of your mind. Being angry about having to watch your child, spouse, parent go through something incredibly difficult. Anger...that's the easy way to deal with it. Perhaps the more difficult way to look at it, is to be thankful. In honor of thanksgiving and having a positive outlook, I'm dedicating this blog post to everything I'm thankful for. 

• I'm thankful for my incredibly selfless parents who've gone above and beyond to help little man and myself when we needed it most. They love him more than anything and care for him as if he were their own. 
• I'm thankful for an amazing group of doctors and therapists that care about Jameson not only as a patient, but as family. They are constantly looking for ways to make his life better. It never ceases to amaze me how much they think about what more they can be doing to help him. 
• I'm thankful for the support I've gotten from a whole lot of people I've never met. Joining online communities of other parents with special needs children was one of the best things I've done since Jameson was born. They are the lifeboat that I climb onto in the midst of the storm. Always compassionate and always there when you just need to yell at the world. 
• And lastly and most importantly, I'm thankful for little man. He is the most amazing soul I will ever know. He is an angel on earth, here to inspire me to be a better person. 

I know everyone has their challenges that they're dealing with both inwardly and outwardly. Sometimes, it doesn't feel like there's much of anything to be thankful for. But I can guarantee you, there is. There is always a silver lining and always reasons to give thanks. :)